Creative Holiday Carolling

I haven't done the research. Don't ask me which group this is, I am simply paying it forward.

All I know is that after years of performing this tune, I am thoroughly impressed by this rendition.

Allow me to pass on the Silent Monks. Enjoy!

Holiday Survival Guide - Lower Your Expectations

We had our Thanksgiving meal early this year. I was all ready to sit down and write a post about how disappointed I was with our gathering, then my guilt kicked in. Instead, I have decided that from now on, I am not going to expect the perfect Norman Rockwell-ish results. I am a pessimist by nature; I feel that I can always be pleasantly surprised.

I am not going to whine about the fact that my Mom accidentally popped an Ambien instead of her blood pressure medication right before I arrived. I won’t grumble about how I had to clean Mom’s kitchen before I could even think about setting out the food me and my siblings brought for dinner. I refuse to attack my Dad’s character because we had to debate the functionality (or lack thereof) of their electrical system before he would let me plug in a power strip needed for the warming plates and crock pots soon to arrive. I can’t explain to you the number of times my Mom asked me which platters she should bring out for all the food. I don’t think she understood that we were to serve ourselves warm food for a change. Our typical is cold food served out of impeccable silver platters. I have given up even trying to figure out how my youngest sibling is such a Princess that she cannot even be bothered to take her own dish to the kitchen.

It’s not worth it.

My Parents are elderly, I need to understand what that means. I need to forgive their transgressions. I commit to stop stressing about family gatherings. Rather, I will from this moment on suggest that any future caucuses happen in a restaurant setting. We function well in a confined space and predetermined time frame.

Life is too short. Enjoy your family. If you cannot do it honestly, it is my true belief that this is the exact reason alcohol or (in my Mom’s case) pharmaceuticals were invented.

Happy 2009 Holiday Season!

Hot Flash

The beginning of my trip was most intriguing. I had not visited Istanbul in over twenty years. I had nothing but excitement flowing through my system. My flights to Istanbul were uneventful. Other than being exhausted from flying, waiting and arriving I was perfectly fine. I was ready for my three week family reunion.

Once I landed, I shut my brain off to English. My flight landed with six other airlines so the passport line was rather crowded. While waiting and snaking my way through the line I was cognizant of the voice in the background. It was in English and the woman kept repeating “Ma’am, ma’am, excuse me.” Since I speak the native language, I was sure this voice was not directed at me. Soon after that thought, the voice was now tapping me on the shoulder. I turned around to see the woman who was sporting a surgical mask asking me to follow her. I replied in English and asked her if she was talking to me, she nodded.

I followed her out of the passport line and towards what was labeled the first aid desk. There I was greeted with two more women also wearing surgical masks and gloves. I regained my senses and asked them in Turkish why I was summoned.

Wicked H: What seems to be the problem?

First Aid Attendant (FAA): Ma’am, you look very ill!

Wicked H: I do?

FAA: You look as though you have a high fever, you must sit down.

Wicked H: Oh! Oh, no. I am not ill, I am having a hot flash.

FAA: I doubt it. You may have Swine Flu!

Wicked H: What? I promise you that I don’t.

FAA: (a thermometer has now been placed in my ear)

Wicked H: Seriously, menopause. Am I saying the word correctly? That is the reason my face is so red.

FAA: (my temperature is 37.5 C)

Wicked H: (having been raised in the states and being jet lagged, I have no idea if 37.5 is good or not - trying not to appear panicked) Look I am 47 and it is quite warm in this building, I am simply having a hot flash. You must believe me.

Needless to say, I begged them to let me through. Turns out 37.5 is very close to normal. Thank goodness. On the plus side by the time I made it out to the luggage carousel, my two bags were the only ones left. My poor cousin was trying to get an official to check on me as I dragged myself into the terminal. It was a wonderful reunion.

More to come soon....